im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
