people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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