she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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