After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
