apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
