Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
