This girl is more easily done than said...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
