carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
