Heybabeimwearingurpanties
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
