I wanna bring you to show and tell
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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