just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just tell him i said nine months
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
