im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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