I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
