Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
