It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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