Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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