I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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