Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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