90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
