he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize