life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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