She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
