Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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