I bet he comes in French.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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