you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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