I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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