I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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