We won't sleep together?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
