Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
