i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
