His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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