Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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