And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
