I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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