Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
