so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize