Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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