I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.