Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Buhtt sex?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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