the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.