I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.