Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
