considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize