if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
