we have officially lost it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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