he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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