Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize