Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i think i just lost a toe
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
