I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize