these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
