plz talk dirty to me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
