is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
