when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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