she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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