the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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