I feel great
I just peed on a car
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize