You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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