he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
