we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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