R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
