Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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